The Secret of How to Overcome Stress in Life, Naturally?

Saravanan

Life Coach, Yoga, NLP and Regression Therapist, Psychologist

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The mind and The Brain are not the same. Stress is a state of mind that manifests in the brain and body. Treating the body and brain without stabilizing the mind may cause more harm.

How to overcome stress?

In this article, I will share certain tools and techniques that can help you to overcome stress. We will discuss how hypnotherapy, Psychological counseling, Regression therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, NLP, Yoga, meditation can help.

Stress expresses through the mind first. Continous periods of stress cause a more permanent change in brain structure. Then the brain and nerves would be tuned to be more stressful than happy. Experience of life becomes unhappy.

Since the brain, body, and mind are involved we should involve all the three components to arrive at a holistic long-lasting solution.

Stress Effects

What happens if you do not treat stress. Untreated stress is known as a silent killer. Stress affects relationships, Financial growth, confidence. The health of the brain-heart-lungs-stomach-kidney is also affected.



How to overcome Stress in life, when stress is not an object, but a subjective experience?

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The challenge is how to keep the permanently changing mind in a permanent state of my choice?

Let us reverse the question. When the state of mind is continually changing, why is it that I experience stress most of the time?  Why can't I experience happiness most of the time?

When stress is neither hunger nor food or inability to buy what I want; I have used the food, restaurant, and many more objects to reduce stress. 

When subjective experiences like a new job, a new holiday spot, sex, etc are used to bring about permanent change in my subjective experience, they give temporary relief but after the effects of the experience are lost, stress actually increases. This makes one helplessly and compulsively search for more such pursuits that give temporary relief with a hope that it will solve the problem. Yet it aggravates the problem.

The Mind Creates Brain

The structure of the brain is dependant on the state of the mind. When stress becomes the predominant state of mind, the shape of the brain gets changed to stressful states. Then decisions are made from stressful states. They lead to more stress.  This becomes a continuous loop. Hence I experience stress more permanently and this experience seems to intensify.

How to overcome stress and depression? How to Overcome Stress and Anxiety?

Anxiety is a stressful state that is characterized by thoughts about what may happen in the future.

Depression is a stressful state that is characterized by thoughts, emotions, and feelings about what happened in the past.

Our mind and body are subjected to external forces continously, and we do not like that. we feel empowered when we experience stability in our emotions, Stability in our state of mind. When we feel empowered, we really become a master of our life. In essence, what we really seek is mastery over our 'self'.

Can a good Job Make one Stress-Free? How to overcome stress at work?

What happens when you get stressed at the office? 

Stress at the workplace is the most common cause of inefficiency and productivity. Stress also shows up as a lack of confidence or overconfident behavior. 

There is an interesting article in HBR that describes in length how even smart people underperform due to stress. 

Most people experience heavy breathing, tensed muscles, churning stomach when they experience stress. Some also feel like crying and shouting. When you are at the office, these body reactions create more challenges. You will lose reputation and also good employees and team members may stay away from you.

The question, how to overcome stress at the workspace should be reframed to,  how can I be calm at the office when things do not go my way? 

How can I keep my body from reacting intensely to stress?


How does Stress Affect the body?

The mind changes the structure of the brain and the nervous system. The nervous system influences the body directly and also through the endocrine system. This leads to increased heart rate, constriction of blood vessels, high acidity in the stomach and the kidney needs to overwork. The root cause of heart problems, Kidney disease, Gastritis, Thyroid problems, autoimmune diseases like arthritis, ankylosing spondylitis, Menstrual problems like PCOD, Uterine Fibroids is Stress. With the right stress management, most of these can be reversed.

Originally published in sarvanan.com

The most powerful Stress Management tools include the body in the process. The body keeps the score of all that has happened because the deeper mind is embedded in the body. Unless the body is involved consistent freedom from stress cannot be a reality.

Know more about Body work in Stress

How to overcome stress in relationship?

When relationships are created out of stress to manage stress, then relationships lead to more stress. For example, if your child does not take a subject of your choice for his career, you can be happy that he is making his own choice or you can be unhappy and stressed that he is not listening to what you say. How to overcome stress in parenting is the most commonly asked parenting quesion.

Stress is relationships affect work-life, career growth and financial success.

It is my response to what happens inside me in a relationship that can make a relationship happy or unhappy When I expect the other person to make me happy, what I really want is that the other should behave or act the way I want. This is the same expectation the other also has from you. So, there may seem to be no logical way to be happy as neither the other can never be the way I want nor can I be the way the wants. In fact, the moment I treat the other as not a part of me. there is friction.

How to Overcome Stress in Parenting

Parenting is a process of helping the child grow and discover himself or herself. As a child, each of us wanted to be free and happy. Yet many of us were boxed into certain types of thinking patterns that made us feel constricted. In fact, many feel that entire childhood and adulthood have been sacrificed to comply with the needs of the other. This leaves many with remorse over parents.

Though many vouch not to make the same mistake with our children, when the activities and behavior of our children cross a certain boundary, beyond our tolerability, we experience stress. This stress should lead us to treat the way our parents treated us leaving us with questions like “Why do I do something which I really hate” 

When I am aware that it is me who is getting angry and frustrated, I may not ask for children to make my life stress-free, by complying with what I say, which they will not and that will add to my stress levels.

How to overcome stress in life - A practical easy approach.

Stress though is experienced as negative thoughts, beliefs, etc, its primary place of existence is in the body. Either the blood pressure shoots up, sugar metabolism is affected, etc. Hence by trying to manage stress with positive thoughts alone will give short-term or less impactful results.

Thoughts come up within a fraction of a few seconds and thought control to begin with is difficult. Thought gets generated unconsciously every time we breathe.

An integrated mind-body approach, starting with body movement and breath work can give long-lasting results.

Practice clean inhalation exhalation with synchronized body movement based on the physical – physiological – emotional status of the mind will lead to long-lasting results.

When the external physiological triggers in terms of blood pressure, sugar, pulse rate decrease or neutralizes it could mean that the internal neural system and endocrine system are calm. This naturally reduces inappropriate behavior and inappropriate actions.

The safe space to begin is to work with relationships. 

How to Overcome Stress in relationships?

How to overcome stress and Frustration? in Relationships. are common questions. 

One area to begin is with relationships I am strongly associated with. Spouse, Children, immediate boss, close friends, people I hate the most, immediate subordinates at the office, customers I interact with often, my work are the few examples of relationship zones I can begin to understand.

Choose one area of the above.

Find out what happens to me when I even think about them.

Pick up emotional reactions, thought patterns, opinions I have about them.

How many of the above thoughts, opinions, and beliefs I have about myself?

Can I work towards resolving these in me?

What benefit will I get when I resolve them?

Answering the above will give you a deeper understanding of the location within you from which the following questions arise –

How do overcome stress?

How to overcome stress in life?


An integrated mind - Body approach is a quick way to overcome stress and Anxiety 


A Short Summary of what we covered.

Stress as I had mentioned before is a state. When one can learn to keep the internality calm stress and anxiety vanishes. To be more specific, our internality is chemistry. When we are happy, we have a certain concoction of chemicals. When we are unhappy there is a different concoction. This change happens and is happening every moment in our life. This happens unconsciously.

Hence if I rely on external factors; like wanting my spouse, children, colleague, customer,s etc to be with me the way I want them to be with me, I will be more dependent on their behavior; I may also hope that they comply with my needs. This expectation will add more stress than peace. Even if they do so, I may not be happy as fear may lurk inside with questions like – Will this continue? I hope that they do not change

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