Coaching Presence
One Easy way to Enhance
Saravanan
Life Coach - Personal Reintegration
Garbhaham - Ancient Wisdom to design the life of your choice
Coaching presence is the non-verbal communication from the coach which is sensed by the client. Verbal and non-verbal congruence makes the presence powerful while incongruence dissipates.
What you are is so clear, that I am not able to hear what you say (Anonymous).
How does my body respond when a coachee shares his or her challenge?
What meaning do I make as the client narrates his view?
How aware am I about the unconscious movements that happen and what is actually happening inside me as I continue to listen - the twitch of my eye, change in skin color, size of the pupil of my eye, the naturality of the tone of my voice and my smile, and more - these communicate more and impact result of the coaching process. This also impacts what I am left with after the coaching session.
The unconscious meaning-making process determines coaching presence
When a client gets angry when sharing about an experience she had with her manager, which also changes the skin color, though consciously as coach one may know that the coachee is sharing her experience; anger and emotions associated with anger and strategies you have to deal with situations that trigger anger may get activated depending on the intensity with which the client expresses and also the intensity with which your meaning-making process is triggered. in such situations what you intend to offer in form of reflective questions, empathetic listening, etc will depend on the degree of intelligence you have, about what your inner emotions are in that moment, how you are responding to your inner experience internally and the degree of neural infrastructure you have, to hold the triggered emotions.
The more congruent your inner meaning-making process and the appropriateness of what you offer in that situation will be transforming for you and the client. This congruency increases the power of your presence and both of them are a result of certain practices that involve the body, mind and energy.
One practice that can help you improve Coaching presence
Set ten minutes aside to reflect on each coaching session. As you recapitulate discover the body reactions, inner beliefs, and emotions that you experienced during the process. Without trying to make any meaning out of this, slowly become aware of your breath. Connect with your breath for about two minutes and experience the whole session in terms of your body reactions, inner beliefs, and emotions that got triggered in you. Observe all that happens in your mind and body with breath as the center. Continue this practice for around 3-4 minutes. Slowly you will experience that the emotions and body reactions subside and just your breath will remain. Be with your breath for another 3 minutes. End the practice.
The above is a retrospective process that will bring about good inner calm and prepare one for the next session or day. When this is done regularly one can prepare to handle upheavals as they come up. Such practices may need direct guidance and support.
Emotional resilience is a result as a result of practices that involves the body, mind, and energy. So is congruence and coaching presence'
The Author is a Freelance Life Coach. The primary approach is personal reintegration founded on principles from Ancient Wisdom. He can be contacted at [email protected]
What every coach should know about emotional resilience!
Originally published, November 23, 2020