Especially those who seem to have achieved most life goals, goals you had nurtured since infancy seem to experience emptiness, and frustration as the rolling never seems to end
Some seem to be happy and contented, yet when a few of your material achievements are taken away you get completely off track. They seem to be frozen - shocked both at the same tenter into a frozen state of shock.
That I have reached a stage in life, where I need to seek this..... Do such work for survival...or say this..or behave thus seem to vanish and the deep instincts of anger, fear, anxiety begin to dominate.
Why does happiness elude me?
Why does the unconditional sense of security elude me?
What am I Searching for?
I was living by the rule book. All was good and nice. Yet why?
These are some questions one is left with.
The truth is these are not new.
You can try this tonight?
As you withdraw yourself from all the roles you have taken during the day and slip into bed to sleep, pay attention to the felt experience of life as it is experienced by your body, heart, and breath.
How happy am I today?
How is life happening to me?
Am secure do I feel now?
On what factors is my sense of security hinged on or dependent on?
How happy is my body? Is my Breath stable, relaxed and deep?
How happy will my life or what would be the quality of my life if all happens as it is happening now?
If I am overwhelmed by these questions then what do I really want?
Are these wants contextually similar to what I wanted ten years back?
Maybe more money, more success, happier relationships, more power, more and more of what I already wanted and got it?
If they are the same what is the guarantee that after I get these I will reach a state where I will happy, and secure unconditionally?
If the answer is still no, Then what do I really want?